Simple Supermarket Shenanigans

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Three things were highlighted to me yesterday, during a routine trip to the supermarket to prepare for Sunday dinner.

  • This is my home, and I am surrounded by Love, support and a few people who proper fucking hate me and avoid eye contact
  • My kids are hilarious
  • Four year olds at Supermarkets are likely going to be loud assholes, and a 13 year old sibling with a dark sense of humour will add fuel to that fire with exhausting results


So I quite literally dragged my eldest and youngest out yesterday afternoon as I needed to get some ingredients for dinner, and also do a bit of shopping for my Dad who has pretty advanced MS and is working at the hospital as a Chaplain right now.  He’s a great guy.  He rolls his eyes at me a lot, but I choose to think he’s proud on some levels, whilst obviously wildly disappointed on others.  Such is family dynamics the world over I would think.

Arrived to a full carpark.  Curbed my Tesla model X trying to squeeze into a wee little space.  And not one, but two of my old friends drove past as I attempted to squeeze myself into the back seat to liberate the fidgeting four year old from his five point harnessed car seat.

“Hey! DeeDee!!! Smiled a gorgeous Natalie with her two very grown up looking girls as they slowly rolled by my disheveled self.

“Oh my goodness, you guys grew up so quick!” I squealed and smiled as they soared by me.

Then a few steps closer to the entrance another woman’s voice yelled out: “Yo! Wonderwoman!  How long you in the country for this time?!” to which I responded… “Tuesday”

Eyes rolled smiles shone and I carried on into the mall.

Convincing James to sit the fuck down in the correct location in the shopping cart was a 7 minute struggle.  Then we eventually negotiated securing him safely in the seat, with an assurance I would buy him cucumber.  Sweet. You can have as much cucumber as you want kid.  Mostly water and not bad for you at all so bring that shit all the way on. Feeling like a bit of a rock star crunchy granola mom at that point, we stopped to get some fish for Phteven.

And the yelling started.  “NooOOOooo!! Tell Daniel to STOP teasing me!” and evil giggles from my 13 year old son, knowing that he was being a total shit disturber and pushing his sibling’s buttons.

Defeated, I walked up, without a speck of anger in my voice, and said to them both:

“Why is it, whenever I take you children anywhere, you are always the loudest people in the place?”

The authenticity and defeat in my voice garnered a belly laugh from a beautiful young looking mom, who beamed a big, knowing smile, and said: “Ah, hell no! If mine were here we’d have you beat! I’m watching you and feeling quite smug and content I left them with their dad right now.”

I smiled back and looked at my two beautiful assholes, and then back at her and said; “Yep, no one really tells you just what a pain in the ass kids are until it is too late eh.”

And we exchanged another knowing nod, smile, and total mental high five and carried on with our shopping.

Then, over in the organic/vegan section, I was buying my husband some Tofurkey and myself some Kombucha, and my friend Lisa arrived.

We spent the next twenty minutes talking about our kids, our work, politics, her large dog who goes to daycare right next door to our new office.  We talked about her sister Rebecca, who is one of my absolute favourite humans on the planet, and her bustling home for teens who need Love and laughter.  She’s the best, and I want to kidnap her, my friend Sandy, maybe Nikki and Erica for my Birthday trip next year (California, NYC, Isreal, maybe UK again?)


The thing that struck me, was how completely and utterly aware of my batshit crazy she is, was, and remains.  Rather than judge or fear the clusterfuck that is Dee, Lisa and so many other amazing women I have worked with, met, and befriended over the years just roll with the ridiculous.  It’s great.  I don’t feel like I deserve it, but I certainly appreciate it.

So that was a snippet into my Sunday.  Nothing life altering or earth shattering to report.  Just a forty year old freak finding friends and dragging family through the supermarket.

It was a reminder that it is nice to be home, and this most certainly is my home, even if I never really have my feet on the ground here for very long lately.

Thanks for reading.