Own Your Own Joy

Joy is great.  Sometimes it eludes us as we overthink it or we put far too much pressure on ourselves and others around our expectations and the pursuit of joy.  Simple joys and lifelong passions are born and built when we don’t overthink things or try to be who we are not I feel.

We all react differently to different things. Some people love a good roller coaster some people would consider it torture. Damon loves the beach and could spend all day there, while I love a swim but the annoyance of sand everywhere after a frolic in the waves means I avoid the beach and tend to opt for forest bathing instead. My daughter loves crafting and crocheting while paying attention to painstakingly detailed patterns. The idea of following instructions for fun is laughable to me. Laughable, actually even thinking about it kinda stresses me out. Equally annoyed/stressed by sodoku, lists, or re-organising a linen cupboard. All of which are things that I know for a FACT bring people I know and Love joy. Weirdos. Just saying.

The point I am trying to make is that we are all unique beings.  My idea of heaven on earth and the happiest place I can think of is actually a Star Trek cruise.  Surrounded by fun, quirky, kind, and often traumatized (through bullying and harrowing life experiences) neuro diverse people like me.  It is the only week on earth I feel genuinely free to be myself without judgement and find almost everyone else on the ship fascinating and fabulous.  A Star Trek convention would probably be perceived as punishment to many of my neuro typical friends.

Finding what sparks our joy doesn’t have to be an exhaustive search.  Really embracing things that excites you, despite whether or not other people think it is cool or worthwhile is a step toward holistically living your best life.  If you like plants and gardening, every time you engage in these activities or actively seek communities who share your passion is building you a narrative and creating a community for you to find and feel joy and belonging.  

Conversely, if you are forever finding reasons not to pursue and embrace the things that you actually like, because you are too busy doing the things you think you should, your soul starts to shrivel up like a prune.  You don’t need to be a prune you are way better off being shiny and sparkly and satisfied instead of trudging through daily grinds doing things because you think you should, rather than enjoying the magic you could if you got really brave and honest.  

Today’s blog I am gonna give us both some homework.  Pop on a timer and brain storm a list of things that actually spark joy in you and write down as many as you can think of in two minutes.

Ready… steady… GO!  

Here’s my list:

  • My asshole cat with three legs who never catches any birds and I worship even though he is… well, an asshole. His beautiful sweet tabby brother brings me joy too.
  • Geeking out over soil health, EV, and clean tech advances and finding amazing plants and animals thriving on the farm where we are blessed to be Kaitiaki
  • Having a good sweary rant with my goddesses about the state of the world. We talk about ideas and plan world domination rather than get weighed down just gossiping about boring people and talking about boring things
  • Nature … just a huge fan of soil and birdsong and this week I am OBSESSED with the baby bananas we have planted.
  • NOT dealing with emotional/social/general vampires
  • Alone time with the spunky monk
  • Hiding from society for days on end and turning off all my devices and embracing a digital detox
  • Memes that Jane/Debs/Ben and others post. So good.
Benedict Cumbercat and his doting mamma (me)

Kay that was a little over two minutes… But actively writing down a few things that fill me with joy was helpful as a kinda gratitude journal exercise, but also has me thinking about hundreds of other little things that bring me huge joy.  Laughing in the kitchen with the kids.  Deep chats with Stephanie and feeling so proud of the fierce and funny goddess she is.  Hugs.  Oof I do LOVE hugs, only from my inner circle though clearly.  

So the next step on this homework assignment for both of us is this.

Just make sure you engage in something that brings you joy.  I’ve already patted my asshole cat, am currently writing, and have actively shut down an interaction with a dipshit dunning krugered up dork who thinks he’s far cooler than he actually is.  Feels good to walk away from dipshits.  I know not everyone can, and we all have to deal with some vampires in life.  I’ve also scrolled a little bit and lolled at some memes.  Tonight I will enjoy dinner at harbourside restaurant with my beloved future husband and spunky monk and keep my phone in my purse the whole time… unless I look fire… then all y’all are getting a cute pic on the Instagram cause sometimes that sparks joy too.

So that’s the blog.

Hope you are sparkly today.

Thanks for reading.