The first thing that feels like I need to get off my chest before going into a full-blown girl power tirade, is this:
2016 was pretty shitty for a lot of people. It was one of the busiest, saddest, happiest, most difficult, and best years I’ve had in my 38 turns around the sun.
I managed to cram about a decade worth of shit into the last 12 months, but also did some epically dumb stuff and dropped a lot of the balls I’m always juggling.
The proverbial mom ball is as huge and heavy as a large medicine ball, and that’s the one I have dropped most impressively in 2016. Having a vagina means that no matter how equal my husband and I are, and no matter how important our combined dreams and career are to us; “The children need their mother!” and the world needs Steve’s big brain and track record for changing the planet because he gets tired of waiting around for someone else to do things.
This is not a complaint. It is an observation.
So, where was I…
Yes, it was a busy, BUSY year!
Between Kiwi road trips, international travel, kid wrangling, PRing, wifing, studying, socializing, charging into the future, and HEAPS of sleeping (or just being in my big comfy bed, exactly the way I am as I write this) I got distracted from my writing, which is one of my most favourite things to do in the whole world. More writing is the only measurable New Year’s resolution I will be making.
I will, however, be cramming as much, if not quite a bit more, into 2017. Top of this list, is I will be kicking my appreciation, adoration, and enthusiasm for women into the highest of high mother fucking gears.
A friend we spent NYE with in Paihia made me promise that this year I read the Constance Hall book, so I shall put it in the list of stuff I am gonna demolish in 2017.
There are so many amazing women on this planet. I am lucky enough to know a few hundred of these women, and a few dozen of them very well indeed. My tribe is lit. My women are amazing. My life would suck without the support, honesty, laughter, Love and tenderness I receive from the goddesses in my world.
Throughout history, badass bitches have led the charge and changed the world in various schools, disciplines and arena. My forefeminists had to fight hard for the rights of their daughters, sisters, mothers, and friends, and themselves.
Feisty females such as Émilie du Châtelet and Ada Lovelace were documenting a vast array of scientific and philosophical discovery and observation hundreds of years ago, and busting misogyny with their intellect and passion.
Suffragettes fought and sometimes died working to earn women the right to vote. They were railing (quite rightly) against the trappings of misogyny in a world where men held all the cards (and the land, and the positions of power, and often the education, and the money… I could go on) so that I could be free enough to share my thoughts and opinions as I do so eagerly.
There’s still so much bullshit to shovel through before gender and/or sexual orientation are neither here nor there. People ought to be able to be whatever brings them bliss. They ought to be able to not be judged on the kind of junk that they are packing, but rather by the content of their character, their deeds, their abilities, their resilience, and perhaps more importantly; their kindness, tolerance and sense of humour.
It seems to me that settling for equality or pay parity seems unimaginative, unambitious, and lacking in vision. Women the world over ought to have the freedom, knowledge, and opportunities to spend their lives feeding knowledge and passion and contributing to the world in any manner they see fit.
Men ought to be able to do the same.
Some of the biggest obstacles to that level of awesome include jealousy, fear, ignorance, and insecurity. Women can be plain mean at times. Both victims and perpetrators of cruelty have reasons seeded deeply in the tapestry of their lives for being as they are. I think we’ve all been guilty of being either bullied or the bully. We are all vulnerable to making poor decisions and treating other people (like women who threaten us, or confound us) like shit.
I think the world would be markedly better if we could just fucking stop doing that.
People are fighting battles we know nothing about. In 2017, try to build others up with sincerity, praise and gratitude. You’ll find that it reflects fairly intensely back at you when you do.
I realize a lot of the people reading this already know all of this stuff. I just wanted to get it down in writing that this is going to be a year for building up and celebrating the brilliant and beautiful souls I am connected to in personal, professional, perhaps even spiritual ways.
You get out there and be all the you that you can be ladies. We’ve all spent enough time feeling scared, anxious, tired, denigrated, gaslighted, misunderstood, or any other range of shitty feelings from any number of sources, even in our own homes and social circles.
A kind word from the heart of someone you respect can change the trajectory of not only a day, but in some instances, and entire life.
Let’s all be the change from bitching to building.
Happy New Year.