I am not upset about aging. Quite the opposite infact, I am embracing it and looking forward to the next stages that are just around the corner.
It helps that I have a vast number of friends already in their 50s, 60s and beyond who live a life of adventure, creativity and impact. Mother in law is 80 now and one of my best friends and closest allies (and harshest critics to be fair) so shout out to my squad – you know who you are and that I Love the fuck right outta ya!
It also helps that as the years pass, the fucks I give decrease in quantity but vastly increase in quality.
I no longer give a fuck about what is traditional, and I no longer give a fuck about people thinking I am nuts or crass or awful. That particular boat sailed long ago.
What I do still care deeply about, is Love, family, learning, laughter and meaningfulness.
So this year, I laid down some new guidelines for life, in my home, my professional life, as a mother, a friend and a wife.
I am taking a study leave. I am demanding more from Phteven and the children at dinner time and strictly enforcing a no electronics from 4:00pm to Bedtime in our home. This is going to be much harder on the parents than the kids, as our jobs have traditionally stayed pretty busy through till midnight and beyond. Closing it down will take willpower.
The coolest shit is happening only a few days into these adventures though. The kids ate their dinner last night. They helped clean up this morning. They engaged with each other and their mother without too much bickering or whining (once the shock of having their YouTube and Instagram taken away had subsided). And Steph stopped and looked at me in that haughty Steph way, and said: “You know mummy, this is just like back in the days when you stayed at home with us, only you don’t drink wine every day.” And she’s correct. Striking the balance between mother, wife, friend, boss, colleague, trustee, volunteer, student and human fucking being keeps me busy enough to manage my well-documented binge drinking tendencies. Still hitting it plenty hard at conferences and events unfortunately. But I am working on my, so try not to be too fucking judgmental 😉
So the word has come back from the Prof who I adore that I am good to take this term off and still go to Melbourne, Singapore, London and MAYBE still make it home in time for a conference that I would be off the planet chuffed to attend.
I am cooking a hearty meal for our offspring and have texted or spoken to my husband dozens of times because I am LOST without him. Phteven and I have scarecely ever in our relationship been so happy together or at peace with our journey or our relationship. It is nice, and I know that spanners in the works will arise, 
but it is being able to bottle up this past couple of months in my heart and memory that will remind me that he is mine and I am his and that’s pretty much one of the most urgent things in my life to fight for. Him, our kids, and the planet we inhabit. And social justice. And Feminism. And mental health… And a few other things that are fabulously beautiful and important.
So that’s me pretty much sorted. I’ve also made a pact with myself to see people I Love (from outside of the EV community) three times a week. So far so good! I saw JP this morning, video chat with Jen and Chris, and tomorrow night is KARAOKE with my ginger ninja and miracle Max!
I am going to live whatever life I have remaining on my own fucking terms. I am going to Love the shit out of everything and I am going to say no, even to things I would like to be involved in, because I am going to be truer to the priorities I have set out than ever before.
Today felt good.
Not every day will. But today fucking did so I am sharing it with you and I’ll be back to share when I fall flat on my face and want to chuck it all in, as that’s a thing that happens when you rush headlong through life as I do.
Thanks for reading.
XXOO