A glorious goddess friend of mine has a saying that finds a place in my story line every single day.  It’s simple, the saying goes:

Take what you want, but be prepared to pay.

The thing I really like about this phrase is the level of cosmic control it insinuates we have when we make decisions.  The good ones, and the bad.  The phrase, to me, also suggests that you should probably get some kind of a quote or send out a brief to save yourself getting a fucking huge bill for shit you didn’t actually want.  State your plan and purpose to the universe,  and be prepared to listen and act on the response the universe returns to you.  

Don’t.  

Ignore. 

The Universe.  

It also feels kinda empowering to think that we all have choices every day, and there will be outlays and dividends for every single action and reaction.  The really fucked up bit though, is basically nobody on earth actually understands how their investment portfolio is going to perform, and we don’t get to choose when or how we make deposits or withdrawals.  Well, there are times this isn’t true.  If you overindulge you will pay the next day quite often, and if you miss a chance to toil toward a goal, it’ll cost something as well.  It applies to food, as you can eat whatever you want, but if you want to stay svelt, you will need to hustle.  It applies to fucking people who get walked over, because if you use or mistreat people, that shit WILL bite you eventually.  It applies to hangovers, hang-ups, hopes, hurt, hearts, homes, health, and, well, it applies to every fucking aspect of our existence.  Some invoices are sent to us more clearly and quickly than others though. Even the laws of physics equate to cost and effort expended for results.  Nothing, not a single thing, will ever come without a price and a result. 

I’d like to take it a step further and also say, that investment yields dividends.  Not only economically, but with our health, our social circles, our learning, our spirituality.  All that good shit.  You put in the hard yards, you be the best you can be, admit when you fuck up, and try to make good choices for long enough, and shit will eventually fall into place and the road will rise up to meet you.  Even if it doesn’t feel that way when you’re trudging along watching assholes overtake you in some kind of proverbial plush rickshaw.  Those assholes are gonna have to pay for their smooth ride, and if they don’t have to goods to cover the bill, they’re gonna be in all kinds of karmic and metaphorical trouble.  But if you toil and hustle your way to the same destination, you can breathe easy and enjoy the view while that lazy mother fucker who seemed to overtake you while traveling the same road, is going to have to make good with their pound of flesh. 

That’s enough metaphor and meandering for this blog I think.

The message I am trying to convey is actually pretty simple.  Some refer to this as Karma or Dharma, cause and effect, providence, roundabouts, fortune, fate, but the overarching theme is that the universe is a huge and complicated place and we affect it as it affects us.  

There’s no manual or instructions available as we navigate through.  There are some widely observed rules and laws (of the physical world, relationships, society, art, nature, just about anything) that we’d be better to observe.  Quite often we do not.

Let me give you a personal example.  

I know, after four decades of pushing people away and trying to curb my crippling abandonment issues, that being a steaming hot pile of crazy can, and almost always does, scare other humans.  The laws of attraction, equity theory, and even just the fact that most well-adjusted people will only tolerate being sent mixed signals or stood up a couple of times before they cut their losses and give up. The real legendary kick ass people just call me up on it and stick around, but these people are rare and magical creatures. Do I still run away from people? You bet your ass I do.  The cost?  Breaks my heart into pieces.  Wait, that’s a weird one, because I don’t necessarily want to be a fuckwit… But I’m taking something. The action to be a fuckwit.  Okay, my point remains VALID!  I think… 

Anyway.

Knowing we do dumb shit and continuing to do it costs more if we carry on the course I think.  The universe and our tribe will send us signals that we need to change and if we don’t listen it will keep smacking us with the same lesson only harder. 

The same formula seems to work (to greater or lesser degrees) in good decisions and behaviors.  There are people who are packed full of patience and perspective who seem to be pummeled by life, and they choose the high ground in the face of all sorts of storms and shitty twists and turns.  They face it with grace and never play the victim or throw other people under the bus, and while it seems on the surface they are getting shit on, because, well, they are.  Yet, these people persevere with kindness and grace while less evolved creatures seek shortcuts and shit on those around them.  The people who are trying to be good people win in the long run.  They take what they wish, which is very little from others, and eventually they’re paid for patience.  Some, maybe most, religions are based on this premise I think.

Figuring out the formula, and knowing what a friendship, role, situation, or even a moment is worth and actively trying to NOT FUCK IT UP can mean short term strains for long term gains.  Instant gratification from false friends or unhealthy distractions can cost us dearly, but putting in the effort and being all the things you’d like to see reflected back to you pays off.

Well.  That’s my thinking on worth for today.