If you aren’t already familiar with Regina Spektor and her kick ass song “Small Town Moon” you will need to have a listen to the song at least once for the sake of clarity and reference.
One of the many “theme songs” that have followed me from my former cluster fuck of a life into this much more livable arrangement is Regina Spektor’s “Small Town Moon”. Some of us are the poster “that girl” from this song. Born and raised in the sticks and surrounded by trauma and trials. Tossed under the bus and kicked to the curb but we came out scratching and biting and, by many measures, rather successful.
Yet, I find myself stuck, once again, in the vortex of other people’s poor choices, hubris and egoistic posturing and it is REALLY affecting me. Who’s fault is that? Mine.
Life’s not fair, I know this. But underestimating the part I play in making my life an equitable and enjoyable place for me and those I choose to share my journey with has proved yet AGAIN to be problematic. Head in sand approach has never yielded me, or, I would guess, anyone else stellar results.
So here’s a little list of witchy calls to action/signs to be aware of, based on the song, you and I might be well advised to pay attention to as we go about building our ideal existences.
- I Wish You Wouldn’t Have Broke My Camera
We are all kind of cameras. We take snapshots of moments in our minds and have pictures stored up of people and places and they make an album of our understanding of the world. This album is constantly changing and sometimes people swoop in and break the lens or make you question the pictures you have taken. If someone is being a bully, or a pain in the ass, or gaslighting you and trying to break your camera, best to get out of that space. I have no idea if this is the intent Regina had in this lyric, but it is my take-away and how I am framing it for this blog.
- Everybody Not So Nice
Damn people can be terrible. Smiling assassins and snakes in the grass will arrive in your life and you will be given the gift of learning hard lessons when they do. Old me trusted to the point of genuine stupidity and was generous to a fault. Today, I know my worth. I know what I serve at my table and it is warmth, and intelligence, and support and authenticity and gosh I am super funny too. People have to genuinely earn the right to sit at my bountiful table these days, and when they do magic happens. Wanting to see the best in people and being a wounded healer is still okay, but my stars you have to protect yourself. My best advice for navigating people who are cruel, manipulative, opportunistic and will cause you harm is this: Trust but verify. See the best in people but offer nothing and protect your privacy and integrity until you have had time to research/get to know people really well. And just as important is trusting your instincts.
- Today We’re Younger Than We’re Ever Gonna Be
Today is a gift. Every day is a gift. I am a small town moon and I have flown so far South of the horizon of the teeny tiny traumatic childhood in Tomahawk Alberta. I can’t even comprehend how my super shitty little life was anyone’s origin story, let alone mine. Every day is an opportunity to see farther, move with more grace, breath deeper, laugh harder, and learn. Fear does not enter into the equation and this year alone we plan to see Bhutan, Uluru, further explore Australia and Canada and the States (before it goes full blown handmaids tale). My beautiful wife Damon and I pursue our creative dreams and he is getting to be a pretty decent photographer and I am able to write and encourage other wonderfully witchy women to be brave and shine a light on their creative shadowlands. None of us are getting any younger, and today is absolutely the youngest we are ever gonna be. So do the things that scare you. Be brave.
- How Can I Leave Without Hurting Everyone That Made Me
This is a phase in my life where I do not have a lot of friends. And that is okay. I am vehemently protective of my mental health, safety and privacy. Okay, my children say I am absolutely ruthless. There’s still a bunch of people who I adore and admire who I don’t keep in contact with and who protected me and nurtured me through the darkest days of my life. Here and in my childhood. If you are reading this and think you might be one of these people and I haven’t been in touch, please do know I appreciate and adore you and have no beef. Drop me a line, I probably really miss you, just been busy rebuilding and phoenix-ing through the ashes the past few years. This is just a cocoon phase and I am happiest in solitude after being irreparably broken by people who were charged (and failed spectacularly) with protecting/supporting me. So, hurting some of the people who “made” you by taking the darkness they handed and turning it to light, and honouring those who have respected/honoured you, well, that’s the hope going forward. Leave but hang on to magic and let go of toxicity. We’ve all already left the small towns in our minds. Time to keep moving forward.
- Baby Baby – It’s All About The Moon
Okay, this one is proper witchy. Did you know that the moon is actually a chunk of us that split off after a massive collision in it’s celestial infancy. The moon is a beautiful, shining, protective guardian that keeps earth safe and controls the tides and all the water. The moon is a magical metaphor for what definitive moments in our formative phases can mean. Our trauma is a part of us but separate and our experiences and challenges can also serve to protect us and be incredibly powerful. The moon cycles and shifts between shining and shadow. As do we. The moon comes close and journeys farther away. The moon is a magical and meaningful celestial body, and we are all made up of the same magical star dust. It is a part of us and we are a part of her. Sigh. Gosh I do love some moon metaphor.
Okay. That’s today’s blog.
Have a good one. Thanks for reading!!!!
My Sweary Blog 